Saturday, April 30, 2011

Fairy tales - other point of view

For those who loves fairy tales - the one that ends up happily ever after.... pls dun kill me after reading this entry. Hehehe

Just for fun... din mean to kill your childhood....

When kids come back home late at night, ever wonder who is their role model in doing so? Taa daa - Cinderella.

When kids walk around the house half naked and act like monkeys (sometime applicable in classroom) who do they learn that from? Tarzan

If there are increases of more thieves.... we only have Aladdin to blame - he is the king....

If kids are lazy and love to sleep around.... all the time well I give you the clue on who to blame to - Sleeping Beauty

Howbout the idea of orgy? Thats right!! Snow White lives with 7 guys!!!

One last thing... it is not really fairy tales though - if you think Superman is a bad role model because he wears his underwear outside, then you know nothing yet. Batman drives 320 km/hr!

Not funny right? Well happy week end guys! Guess what! It is the last day of April!! Tomorrow is Labor Day!!

Pls share your view on fairy tales or superheroes "fakes" too - if you have any..... hahahahahahaha

Quote of the days:

"It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does."
Ultraman Jino 

Friday, April 29, 2011

This is a TRAGEDY!!!!

Good news and bad news....

First good news (at least for me)... I would like to say "syabas" for the TM for fixing my line.... 72 hours and it was fixed in 24 hours. Feel very thankful!!

Secondly bad news - to most of the bloggers and blog readers.... I dunno if you guys realized it already or not, please read here

This is a tragedy!!! I dunno what will happen in the future.... I hope he will continue writing, or create a new blog? His blog had been one of the earliest blog that I followed.

Below are the blogs that i followed religiously and will have a very bad day or feeling guilty if I don't read their posting. Starting from the very first blog I followed till the one I read recently.

Pluboy Eric + Simonlover> + JerryKiat + Sky> Tuls + Calvin J + Aaron Ng> Bravebear + Pikey Chan> ....... > LMO + Deicidal

Subsequently, I know about other blogs when I read from the previous blogs. For all the blogs that i put in my bloglist, I really follow all of them and nothing excite me more than seeing the updates, reading em' and commenting on em'. I always look out on quotes - some are meaningful, deep and purely motivating while  some are funny to the max and can help me to forget my problems (even if for a while).

Anyway, lets all hope for the best for our beloved Simonlover!!! He still owe me likes 2 more parts of karma sutra.... the other 3 C's....... more Singaporean hunks (dun care if overdose though)...... those visits to massage place...... and so lots more

I hoped this is just a prank..........

Some might tell me.... "Get a life!" but... this is part of my life, the only part that I can be honest with myself, at least at my own feeling.

Quote of the days:
Though I want to be in loved but I rather stay single than to have someone who takes relationship lightly!"
Ray Brixton 

"Eng Hao died! The end!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Internet line..... GG....

My internet line GG (as in died)..... Don't know what happened, called TM liao and they said, they will try to fixed the problem within 72 hours.

This afternoon a very heavy rain happened at my area. After a very loud thunder and strong lightning, my line gone cuckoo after that - both PWR and WLAN light still on. DSL light totally off. My house phone also die liao.

Hope they will fix it as soon as possible.....

p.s : GG is a slang used by ppl nowaday in dota (especially in garena) when the game is over... it stands for good game... in normal conversation, GG can be used as "habis" liao, "can't be save" etc etc etc....

p.s.s: Ash, try send me an email to:


Quote of the day:
"I believe people who are so eager to get in love should also understand and prepare the pain and hurt that comes with it."

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sissy and gay same meh???

All sissies are gay? All gay are sissy? This is one of the most common misconception by the society. For example, from 1 entry I remember a brother of someone mentioned "actually i knew you were a pondan when we were younger

Sissy come from the word sister - refers to guy who exhibit effeminate behaviour. However this word also refers to guy who is weak and cowardly. For example please refer to the picture below, can you identify which of these guys are the real "sissy"? I am not saying muscular hunky people are sissy, just that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover - hope those hunky, 6-pack abs, marvelicious muscular reader out there don't be angry, k.... hahahaha                       

In Malaysia, especially the Muslim (although not all) looks down on the sissies and treat them as some kind of disease. This is to be proven by the recent news from Terengganu. Please read Boot camp in Malaysia for effeminate boys slammed (Posted by Deicidal earlier) - I was offended by the news. In Sarawak, this news occur. 

Now talking about counseling, what type of counseling do you want to give? Counseling on job - can be accepted. Counseling on behaviour changes - not a good idea. Counseling on converting the gay sissy to be straight - good luck on that, you only waste your money. 

Not all sissy are gay and they can be straight too. Their action are pretty gentle, which looks quite effeminate to others. Deep inside, they are just being themselves and pretty sure that they are not gay. Let this character in a movie give you an insight of such person. 

As conclusion: Not all gays are sissy and not all sissies are gay.

Last of all, for you who have such friend or family member, accept them as who they are. They suffer more than us. I attribute this song to them "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga played by Maria Aragon. Just be yourself, you are good just the way you are, even if the society rejects you, knows that you are never alone!!!

Quote of the day:
"Sometimes I just wish that life is like a high school workbook, whereby questions on the front pages and then flip to the back for the answers. "
Chen Xing 

Monday, April 25, 2011

Sikit pun tak significant / Officially 26

My existence is not significant.

If you want people to remember your birthday, you will let Facebook do the reminder.
I don't.
Today, I am officially 26.

Usually today, I will get the message and wishes from him. But since I am no longer an important person in his life, I don't think I will get it anymore... since it had been a couple of hours after 12. But, if I am to put myself into his shoes, will I call him to wish him a happy birthday? I don't know. We'd moved on.

When I was younger, my family totally forgotten about my birthday too. Each time it reached May, my mum said "OMG, we missed your birthday (again) this year!!!" All this continue until my sister was born and when my mum forgot about her birthday once, she was quite sad and was even sadder when she received my birthday wish sms - as I am the only one who remember. She then memorized everyone's birthday and will remind my mum when the time is near. It works... since then.

When I say my existence is not significant, it is not meant to be pessimistic.

One more myth on my birthday:~
I had lost my IC two time consecutively for past 2 years - on my birthday. But I think I will break this curse this year.

Quote of the day (my own quote =P)
"Love start with a smile, survive for that smile, gone when the smile lost, but can be retrieve when the smile is found again"
"To you, I may never existed, but I will always remember you. I will be there when you need me the most, protecting you like a shadow. No, I don't need your thanks, but instead reward me with your smile and led a good life. Only then, I can enter the oblivion, satisfied"

Friday, April 22, 2011

Failed Epic

Hmmm.... I am not good in writing stuff like this. Dun throw stone at me ya....

What happened when 2 virgins try to have sex together? This is my experience with my ex.

Few weeks after staying together in my 7th sem (3 years ago), we decided to do "that". Unlike now, that time, we have limitations:
1. In Bintulu there is no places called Guardian or Watson.
2. I know about the existence of condom but not lubricant.
3. I don't know other gay course mate or friend, so no reference to ask.
4. My only source of sexual education is from
5. If some of you remember, the porn tat time are mostly in form of short video clips. (usually is 4 pieces of 10 sec clips)
Meaning, there are lack of information and preparation.

Tat time, i dun know anythg about fingering and rimming. Ya, I was a noob 20's guy tat time.

Tat night, as I remember, it was somewhere during holidays - Hari Raya holiday (if not mistaken) when most people went back. As I said before, usually people will knock into our room, so purposely choose a time when most people are not around.

We agreed on me being the top that time (We found out later that he is a better top) - 1st mistake (I guess). The reason is because I had been acting top in many field - when ordering food, i always initiate a movement and making the decision or should I say I am the more active partner.  He is the passive one and i had been treating him like a princess.

So we started with a foreplay like usual. He lies there while I put on all the action. I start by rubbing our nose, then closed our eyes then kissing intimately. I remember our first kiss was like a primary student kiss but then slowly it evolved and we start to upgrade our technique. Maybe I was extra nervous that night, my breathing was faster than usual - knowing that we wanted to do our anal for the first time, but it is not the first time we do non-penetrative "sex". He was also nervous because I never felt him breathing that fast before - except during our first passionate kiss where we literally stopped breathing for few seconds.

I slowly go for his neck - one of his sensitive parts. His fair skin can really leave an obvious red-purplish marks easily. After my house incident, I try to be gentle a bit there. Still on top of him, while kissing his neck area (suckling will be a better word), I slowly moved my tongue to his chest and start to go to his nipple area. He usually complaint not to suck his nipple for too long because he found it....too ticklish. After a few moaning, and while i suckled his nipples, his hands try to push me away I think it signaled that it is enough sucking there and want me to move further - in fact I like to hear his voice when I suck his nipple, twirling my tongue around his nipple and let him struggle to push me away. Then i start kissing my way from his nipple toward his naval. He is very slim! When my tongue move toward his naval through his stomach, he release the most arousing "ahh" sound/moan. And his gesture and stomach movement, it aroused me even more. i don't spend too long there, then moving backward a bit, I took off his pants (yea, he dun wear underwear at night) then my shirt too.

Stroking his lil brother for a while, I enter the stick into my mouth blowing it. He liked my swirling technique - where i used my tongue to move his stick around my mouth - it always works and he will moan each time I do that. I also liked to deep throat him and each time I do that, he will pulled my head so that I can take it deeper. He tried his best to delay his cumming. but usually, he will released some pre-cum. then play dirty by pushing my head away. I remember that night I asked him  - "what happened? you don't like it?" he answer me "natural response".

After sucking a while, I asked his permission for entering - here the story begin. I lifted his legs and placed them onto my shoulder, exposing his tight virgin hole. Then placing my lil brother there and try to enter - forcefully. First try, he complained pain. I stop for a while and told him to relax and try to push toward me while I try to enter. He said, okay try. Second try, still same, his tight hole wouldn't allowed me to enter. After few attempt, i asked him to change position - later known to me as the Reverse Cowboy style. When he try to push himself in, I also try to push myself into him. Like before, he "aiyok, aiyok" me and say painful. I cancel the plan. and continue with frotting instead. I assumed that we are not ready and doesn't have much knowledge in this field yet. We end it by frotting and sleep ourselves through the night hugging each other till morning. Attempt failed, epic failed.

The reason I cancel it is because I remember in Nifty it was written "don't force your partner to have sex if he felt pain" I scared that the sex won't be beautiful and instead will traumatized him. I also never thought of bottoming for him because I - just like him, never bottom before. It took us long time before we experience our first anal.

Conclusion: Later on, I found out, rimming is important to make sure your partner relax.
                   Use lubricant. apply more if still can't enter.
                   Always relax.

P/s: No, this blog is not going toward erotic story direction. This is my experience..... Envy those who have "tunjuk ajar" from more knowledgeable people - at least they have a good advice or even amali.

 Anyway, happy Easter guys and guess what? it's Friday!! Have a nice weekend!
Justin LionFever!!! Happy belated birthday ya!!

Quote of the day:
"the feeling of LOVE will not always on the highest point of the hills. sometimes, the feeling might go down, but that is still the process of LOVE"


Monday, April 18, 2011

My roomies during my stay in the Campus

I try to resume my "unintentionally" post but, it had been 1 of the biggest regret in my life and I guess I will only write it when I am ready. 

I had wrote this entry for long time but haven't found the time to post it after the break-up. Thanks to Tulsy, I got my chance to post this entry. *Hugs


In my campus, we had a system where 2 roomies will stay together for at least 1 year. and in my 4 years of degree time, I have 4 different EFFEMINATE roomies. 

1st year:

During my 4 years of stay in the campus, I had been staying with 4 different sissies. First sissy, is a hunky Indian but among the Indian, he is the sissiest - he bought fair and lovely to whiten his face (never work) and go to the extent of shaving his chest hair (consider as weird by all his Indian friends because chest hair is a symbol of manliness/manchoness according to one of my friend), however, after 2 years of influence from his peer, he tried to be manly.

Funniest moment would be when he straightened his hair. I mean, most of my coursemate found it is unnecessary  because he look great with his curly hair and the straight hair.... tak betul lar. He is straight by the way. Not gay.

My first year was filled with laughter and I think he is quite an interesting individual. (I nvr thought of being gay at all that time)

2nd year

Second year, I stayed with my senior. He is one of the peers that we called "ah gua" in our campus. He only entered "ah gua" mode when his friends are around and they don't mind showing their effeminism to anyone. However, when his friends are not around, he was just being cool like most of the people in campus. He even hide his "sexy" voice when he spoke to me.

1 of my friend helped me to move my stuff to my room. After he saw my room mate, he got a chill in his spine and never visited me to my room anymore. None of my friend did anyway =.="

Oh ya, he is gay. Reported from a reliable source (or maybe is just another man who have sex with man?). Nothing intimate happened between us.

(I am in a confused mode that time and I found out I already fell in love with a guy - my ex)

3rd year

Third year, I was in the same room with the campus's Queen. His cat walk beaten most of the girls, very slim and was crowned Queen of the Night during the Prom night by the students - however he did not won it officially due to strong Islamic stance of our attending lecturer (yeah this is Malaysia).

He's openly gay or should I say, he never treat himself as guy and insist that God is being unfair and is making a great joke out of him - he's born male and would have prefer if he was born a female.

We entered UPM together and since our first meeting I already knew him - i.e guys who he liked and so on. He even got surprised when I have this talk on guys he liked. Yup, we have a great talk - nothg funny happen though (I mean I didn't do anythg over the boundary with this room mate compare to the one I am going to have on the following years).

This room mate of mine in fact is grouped in good-looking guy. But he liked to wear dresses and high heels. His feminism even beat most of the female coursemate I know.

The last time I heard about this room mate is he is currently working in Putrajaya and I heard from a friend that time, he wore a baju kebaya with a group of friends. I think he must be in quite a happy condition now. Oh ya, he dunno I am gay though. I had been very discreet.......

I got all these 3 room mate out of accident - arranged by the College admin.

4th year

Final year, I chose my own room mate, my ex. Note that, this happened after I confessed to him. Usually the college won't entertain students who want to change room, but I swindled my way through (that will be another story). Ya, 1 year of anything you can think of happened in that room - my first time exploring the gay universe (beside that, there are few failed epics which we had there before, maybe I will write it for tomorrow post?). But, even though we were in the same room, it's hard to have the space for ourselves- our coursemate usually visit us for assignments and etc etc etc.

Some people would say that he is quite effeminate however, 1 of my female friend said that his action is something we called "manja". I agreed and I found it cute. That had been the greatest year of my life.

So what is your experience with effeminate people? I don't have any negative impression on them because I had been living with them.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


If you unintentionally hurt someone's feeling what will you do?
          A. Play dumb
          B. Go and explain to him what really happen
          C. Wait for him to confront you and explain to him that time
          D. Look for third party to cool both side down.
          E. Let it be

What if you don't know that you had offense him and he just act cold to you, not telling you anything and just create a barrier between you two, will you

          A. Play dumb
          B. Go and ask him what really happen 
          C. Wait for him to confront you and demand explanation from him that time
          D. Look for third party to cool both side down.
          E. Let it be

Well, there are no right or wrong answer for the above question. All actions bear different result and consequences. And these actions and results are not reversible. So think properly so that you will make a right decision.  

To be continued (with a story on what happened to me last time).......... 


Quote of the day:
"No matter how hot someone is, if their attitude is crappy then the hotness factor goes to the North Pole and buries itself"

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Too naive also not a good thing

Lately, a lot of my friend receive a weird conversation from "someone" they know. Well without further delay, please have a look at bottom conversation. The Black square represent the infected account while the yellow square represent the victims. This pic was taken by my friend while they chatting using ymail messenger. Enjoy!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, the infected account answered back every reply by the victim. Usually if normalpeople when they reached the second reply, they will ignore straight. 

Well, I hoped that any of you when you receive such conversation, just ignore it or try to get id verification from them.

Usually, when I chat with friend, I will use some very common greeting like "hi, name" or "good morning" when in fact it is already afternoon or "wei cb! what are u doing." or "morning sunshine" or just a normal "yo"
However if you answer back to some replies and does not clink on the link, then okay de. If they sent you a link, always beware!!!! 

p.s: always put more caution on your friend's characteristic in chatting. Like this case, the infected account usually speak in Malay instead of English =P

"Better safe than sorry"
"If you kiss just anyone, you won't feel anything special because there is no feeling involved" 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Had been a busy-rushy day yesterday. My brother had reached Dubai safely this morning. his flight is supposed to be tonight but the changes in the shipping schedule hasten his departure. In the process, it caused me to travel to KL in hurry.He will be at the Arabian coastal line for the next 6 months.

3 years younger than me but he is going to be the next family breadwinner after my father retire next year. He is a sailor, 3rd officer to be more detail and he is NOT gay.

I am the closest to him in the family beside my father. He usually share his problem with me and asked for my advise usually. He is stubborn in nature and has very bad temper. However, he don't dare to raise his voice toward me (yet?) because he knows when I reached my temper, it is 100 fold worse - well I won't hurt him physically just mentally. I don't know if I am good mentally, but so far, I am quite happy with my records - of cos it dun go to the extend of causing ppl to jump from building.

There is a funny "talent" that my brother have. He can spot "fabulous" people from any direction - fabulous as defined by tulsy in his post here. Remember when I said eye can be deceiving? Well nothing can deceive his eye. If a guy is a guy, he will say that is a guy - no matter how feminine he looks like and vise versa(I once give him a website to spot which is guys or girl, he scored all correct). Oh ya, talking about spotting, whenever 1 is near, no matter if from our back direction, he will say "I feel cold,  got 1 is nearby". Maybe that talent only go to the dress crosser but not on the gay people, if not, I think i was outed so long time ago.

He is kinda homophobia. Ironic isn't it? i am gay and he is homophobia. I wonder what will happen if he caught me with other guy or if I come out to him in the future, will he disown me?

Quote of the day:
"Your friends are there at the beginning, they are there when you break up with your partner but they are also there in between time"
"Good friends come not knowingly. You don't suddenly decide that person is your good friend. It develop naturally." 

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Romeo's kiss

I want to share another short film with you guys. Don't know if any of you watched it before but it really worth your 11 minute. 

Both of the male actors are so CUTE especially the blond one. <3
I think the director is gay and is purposely trying to bend Thomas - the female actor's boyfriend. Well he succeed. Ahahahaha
Everything sound so nice in French. 
Trust me, it really worth your 11 minute. The ending kinda weird though but it opens up all the possibility.
The scene at 6:40 is also very very cute <3

This scene is at 6:17

Well hope you guys will enjoy it. Enjoy your Sunday ya.

Extra info:
Thomas played by Florent Arnoult
Jeremy played by Matila Malliarakis

 p/s: Do you sniff your darling's shirt when he is not around???

Quote of the day:
"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening."
Maya Angelou

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Coklat Stroberi

Coklat Stroberi is an Indonesian gay-themed movie.  Api!!!!!! While I was watching it, I was feeling very furious!!!!!!!! Want to really hantam that male actor. Okay first i will "copy-paste" the short synopsis of the film.

"Coklat Stroberi is an Indonesian teenage drama comedy. The two characters, Key and Citra, are best friends. They are living together in rented house in Jakarta. They are students with part time jobs. Family financial problems causes Key to fail paying this year’s rent. Mrs. Ratna, the landlady, finally decided to include of her friends’ sons, Nesta and Aldi, to share with Key and Citra in order to help the girls with the rent money. Their presence has brought a new color to Key and Citra’s life. But, Nesta and Aldi kept with them a secret."  (Wikipedia)

Now back to discussion, I doubt any of you will watch the movie as it is in Indonesian language. So there will be a lot of spoiler. Some of the scene did somehow reflects on certain lives of gay in the society. So i will write down some of the issue in the film.

1. Nesta and Aldi are gay couples since their secondary school and had been together for 2 years. Nesta is a typical good-looking hunk played by Nino Fernandez while Aldi is the twinky and a bit effeminate played by Marrio  Merdhithia. Nesta want to stay discreet but Aldi don't mind if their relationship is known by others.

2. Key fell in love with Nesta and Nesta found out that he also liked her. He kissed her despite having relationship with Aldi..... no loyalty in gay relationship???

3. Citra considered Aldi as her boyfriend candidate after he helped her in cooking. She tried to seduce him numerous time but also curious about his sexuality after few phone call made by Aldi. Eventhough she failed to be his girlfriend, she help to matchmake Aldi and her boss in the later part of the movie. Aldi, Citra and Key become besties.

4. Nesta questioned about their future with Aldi - what is the outcome of their relationship, will they get married? Nesta also questioned about going public with Aldi, can they ever hold hands in campus area. Nesta also mentioned that their relationship is a mistake made by young people. Nesta also mentioned that Aldi as being naive for believing their relationship can last. Nesta mentioned that the gay relationship has no future.
Grrrrrr in the whole movie, I wonder how many times I cursed that character. He is a jerk!!!!!! #$%^&^%$#@@#

5. Acceptance by family. Aldi come out of closet with his parents. His father kena asthma attack. His mother however asked him to rethink back his statement but there is chances that she is ready to accept him as he is.

6. On Nesta relationship with Key. Nesta explained the reason he chose Key over Aldi is because he loved her instead of afraid on community view on homosexuality. I can't forgive his conversation
"Within these 2 years, you also can sensed my confusion on our relationship. However when I met Key, I know the feeling is real. I hope you will understand and can remain as my friend, no matter what you choose for your life next time" 
Grrrrrr I really want to cekik him. If you say confuse for few months okay, but, staying together with another guy who loved you so much for 2 years then ditched him for another girl and asked him to be friend after the betrayal. Grrrrrrrr really want to cekik him.

In this movie, I like Citra's role the best. She is matured and open. She is friendly and smart. She don't have the prejudice toward gay people and is quite supportive toward Aldi. I want a bestie like her. Few scenes where she make up kao kao yet Aldi dun show any interest. hahahaha, really funny,

The movie is available in Youtube. I will put 1 of the episode here.Hope you will watch the movie (which I doubt). Oh ya there are scene where Nesta only wear boxer in the living room.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Fake egg

Recently, in Penang, a housewife lodged a report on the purchase of fake egg at Pulau Tikus. These are the links of the news Herehere and here.

Beside those points in video, another thing that I want to add when identifying the fake egg is, there are no membrane skin that exist usually after the egg shell. Meaning, When we crack open the boiled egg, usually after the egg shell, there will be a thin layer of membrane skin which is quite "leceh" to remove. For fake egg, there are no such layer. 

This is what reported but we don't know how long has this circulate and how far had it circulate around. We might have eaten it without knowing it. Nasi lemak vendor might have bought it and dunno that they used fake egg in their nasi lemak. Just to think of the possibility. Maybe I think too much.

Fake egg or even more appropriate, should be called man-made egg. Beside man-made egg, through the same technology, there are man-made grape (fake grape) which is just as hazardous for human health. 

Well, this news is quite important and the knowledge to able to identify these fake egg is also crucial as most of us consume eggs as the cheapest and main protein source beside fish. My cousins drink egg drinks every morning and to think that the egg he drank is fake egg..... aiyer, I guess i should call him just to beware. 

Well my last word here would be, don't hate the Chinamen for having this technology of creating a fake egg/counterfeit egg/man-made egg. They come out with the technology but it is those with the knowledge who uses it for personal gain should be blame.  


Quote of the day:
"As much as life requires decisions, we still have the option to opt for a different direction to go with. So now, why make life miserable when you can be happy?"
Chen Xing 

Thursday, April 7, 2011


The news of an SIA steward who was found dead 3 days later had been quite disturbing to me. Well not really his death that disturbed, the thinking that the same thing might happened to me and it could had been worse. I am not trying to be insensitive about him. Well hope that he will rest in peace.

As a student who is currently taking Master with thesis and is thinking of furthering for PhD, it is easy to guess that I am aiming for a career as a lecturer or researcher.

Let say in future, I worked far from home, living alone with my cats. If anything is to happen to me, I dun think anyone will know about it. I might have rotted for 6 months before someone found out about me. My mum would think that I am too busy with my work and will leave me alone. My brother who will be a navigator captain won't be on shore for at least 4 months. Mr Pebbles may be too hungry and eat my fingers then run away looking for new owner. My faculty won't give a damn about my absence and my paycheck will keep roll in - even after my "death". The only reason people would look for me will be because my student need my signature for their progress report and since they can't find me, they will start to ask around and come to my house just to know about my well-being.

For now, I called home once in 2 weeks. Sometimes once in a month. Go back to my hometown twice a year, each time won't stay longer than 1 week. To be frank, I prefer to stay here, away from home. I feel more free. Dun have to be nag, dun have to be controlled and can do whatever i want (provided I have the cash). It is clear that in the future, I will come back to KL to stay here or at least go to Kuching.

Well in the end, everyone dies - sooner or later, in happiness or in sadness, in regret or in enlightenment, painless or long painful death, beautiful or ugly death, accident or natural death, everyone will die eventually. Maybe unlike before, my life is all mine now, I no longer have the thinking that my life belongs to others. Seems like life is empty, nothing is scary anymore, not even being alone. So for now, I am ready if I am to die today. Regrets? I have a few, but then again too few to mention. We won't know when our time would be. *puff, our candle of life can just gone like that.

"We cant predict whats gonna happened, as long as we live happily and never ill-treat ourselves, I guess we will die without regret!"
Ray Brixton 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Personality test

I tried this personality test which I found from Calvin's entry. These are my result

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
(This is what they told me)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
(True, I guess)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person (?).

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
(The opposite sex always find me annoying)

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
(Very very true)

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
(I guess)

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
(Very true indeed)

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
(mature? As in old? Advice, all the time)

Love? For now I want to commit everything to myself. I am tired after the first relationship I was in. If I am to grow old, alone, without anyone, I will adopt some cats like the old ladies in the movie. I like cats! maybe I will name one of them Mr. Pebble? 


"The mind controls everything. People with depression claimed that their mind are not functioning, like someone took over control of your body and you cannot do anything but feel like a marionette. Please stop using depression as an excuse to get away with things."

 "The perfect time is the time when both of you are ready and situationally allowable" 

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Do you believe in your instinct? I mean, before something bad happen, you already felt that something bad is gonna happen. What will you do? Will you just do it or try to prevent it? 

Sometimes, your instinct is so strong that you might dreamed of what is gonna happened. What if one day, you have to go outstation and you know that something horrible is gonna happen to you, will you go or just shrugged the possibility off? If it is a compulsory task, will you try your best to cheat death? Or will you left behind a message or a will just in case something really happened? 

I kept a special notebook for myself a dream notebook. Each time I woke up, I will try to remember back my dream and jot down my dream in the notebook. Sometimes, the dream is so strong that it is still clear even after i woke up. 

For me, I trust my instinct very much. It'd never failed me - I guessed. Once I neglect my instinct and that results me few regrets. Of all that I remember, I neglect my instinct and kena mugged once in Form 5. Few months back, I neglect my instinct and insist to follow my scheduled flight back home and I didn't get to see him alive for the last time.

People always say, being lucky is a situation where one is at the right place at the right time. However, I believe being lucky is by not being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Lucky enough not to be in danger is better than lucky enough to obtain extra benefit. 

Well anyway, it is a very hot night here. Really wish it gonna rain soon. 

Quote of the day

"auntie, what cannot tahan pain? Your son's trophy so big also enter liao la"
(When I read this I rofl. Dun kill me okay :P) 

Monday, April 4, 2011

What is your love story song?

First let watch this clip

"突然好想你" or translated as "Suddenly I think of you" is a very good song. For some it is very meaningful as we can see in this clips some of the participants can't control their emotion and started to cry. When I first start listen to this song, I noticed that the power came from the way its melody was played. Beside that
Yoga Lin (林宥嘉), who is the One Million Star Season 1's champion, sang it too well!!! He is cute too!!!

Among the readers, some of you are currently deep in love with your other half, congrats on that, some may still taking their time recovering from a break up, just like me. Some may not even start to involve in a serious relationship yet. However, I believe that each of you can relate your current status with a song. So if there are what song it is? 

For now, I love the song that Deicidal introduced to me : I wish you love. I found myself at peace whenever I listen to this song. 

Oh ya, I hope it is not " it's friday, friday, gotta get down on friday"....  feel just wrong~ :P

Quote of the day:
"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew"

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Eye can be deceiving

Okay tonight unlike me, I will put in some picture first before do my normal writing. Try to identify this person.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Shhhhhhh, it is supposed to be secret

There are many reasons why some bloggers don't use their real name. However, there are some who actually used their real name and pictures. For that I think they deserved certain degrees of respect, especially the plu bloggers, for your braveness and pride. I salute.

But as for those who choose to be discreet whose reasons may be vary, it is fair enough if their decision are to be respected and personal info not to be revealed. Even though there are freedom of speech (writing) but, it will be highly appreciated if their privacy is respected. So, shhhhhhhh, it is supposed to be secret.

As age grows with every passing seconds, so does our maturity. If one is offended by your action (maybe is unintentionally to begin with), it is a very mature act if you stop acting like that again. We have right to do anything, but don't forget, other people too have right to do anything in return. To be respect by others, we should start by respecting others.

Quotes of the day:

"When I was calculating food costs, admission tickets, land transports etc, when the figures runs into a couple thousand euros, I figured there's gotta be a mistake.. and then  realized I multiplied everything with 2!!"

"Falling in love with one's virtues is so uplifting.
Falling in love with one's flaws.. is simply beautiful. "

Friday, April 1, 2011

When the world is no longer yours

When people are depressed or having a very big break down, they tend to feel like everyone surrounding them started to neglect them. 

April 1st, is widely regarded as April fool day. It is a day when people played prank on their friends, teachers, colleague and family members. 

But April 1st also is a quite important day for the Cantopop lover. 8 years ago, Leslie Cheung (also known as Gor Gor) took his own life by leaping out from 24th floor of Mandarin Oriental Hotel at the age of 46. At first most of the people thought that this is a mean joke created - like the one created on Jackie Chan's death in recent years.

Rumors about the cause of his death spread so fast that his family urged tabloids to let Cheung rest in peace, and not to sensationalize his sexual orientation and reasons for suicide. The day after Leslie's death, his long time partner, Tong, confirmed that Cheung suffered from (clinical) depression and had been seeing psychiatrists for treatment for almost a year. He also revealed that Cheung had attempted suicide in 2002. Later at his funeral, Cheung's niece disclosed that her uncle had severe clinical depression and suffered much over the past year (2003).

This is his suicide notes:
-"Depression! 多謝各位朋友,多謝麥列菲菲教授,這一年很辛苦,不能再忍受, 多謝唐先生,多謝家人,多謝肥姐. 我一生沒做壞事 為何這樣?"

-"Depression! Many thanks to all my friends. Many thanks to Professor Felice Lieh-Mak (Cheung's last psychiatrist, 麥列菲菲). This year has been so tough. I can't stand it anymore. Many thanks to Mr. Tong. Many thanks to my family. Many thanks to Fei-Fei (Lydia Sum). In my life I did nothing bad. Why does it have to be like this?"

In a 1997 concert, Cheung openly revealed that Daffy Tong (唐鶴德) was his "most beloved" after his mother. The Hong Kong media eventually accepted the two men's relationship and the tabloid gave Tong the nickname Tong Tong (in the style of Gor Gor). After Cheung's death, Cheung's family published a full-page obituary in a Hong Kong newspaper, in which Tong was listed as a surviving spouse (未亡人).