First, I don't hate girls. I like them, but nothing more than friends. Once, I did have a gf, but then after that accident, i never find a new person like her or to replace her. It took me around more than 10 years before I get into relationship, and this time with a man, my ex.
The thing is, from my point of view, when we like someone, it is not supposed to be bounded by religion, races or gender. Even age. Everyone should have the freedom to love and rights to choose their lifestyle. I love someone because, he is him and it is not because of his gender or anything. How to explain, when you see him, you will have problem in breathing, your ear or face will feel warm, you heartbeat will go very fast. and when he passed through you, you will want to smell him, even if a bit, even if a gush. This same goes to the straight, when they find a girl they liked - what I want to say is, you know you are gay when you have the same feeling towards a guy.
Usually when you're in love, no matter where you are or what time you're in, you will only remember of him. Same goes with the straight they will go gaga towards the girl they like. If you still don't get my point - the only difference that a gay or a straight guy should have is on the gender of person they liked. Thats all. If everyone can understand this, the world will be a better place. But sadly, in Malaysia, it is still a taboo to many.
Now talking about marriage.... what happen Calvin? Your parents arranged you a marriage??? =P
Well, if you know you are gay, and you only getting married just to please your parents and the society.... then better don't. Coming out of closet is a very very big decision. To avoid marriage choose to come out to their family. 1 thing for sure, not everyone can accept the fact their son is gay. For those accepted, yeah to you. For those who don't and want to remain closeted (like me), there gonna be a lot of pressure from all sides. Society, family and friends. For friends, I came out to them one by one- for now, they are quite cool with it (not many though).
Marriage is something that is supposed to be sacred. It is a stage where 2 individuals want to announce to the world of their readiness of living together as a family and are recognized by others. It is also a way of telling others "get your hand off my hubby/wifey". Don't know about you, for me, marriage shouldn't be used as a tool, no matter what the conditions are.
Some might ask "what is a lesbian girl asked me for a "fake" marriage just to please your parents - both sides will be okay with the marriage and you can avoid suspicions from others"
- my answer would be "if she asked me for a fake marriage, I would refuse to. It can solve my problem (rushed by parent for marriage), but, it will create a new problem in future. I rather live as myself, I will keep my sexuality a secret till I can manage to live on my own, but I will not use someone as scapegoat to conceal my secret"
If my family is to find out about me, I will not deny it. What is meant to happen will happen one day. We have enough problem, so why create more?
Lastly, don't worry about living as gay, but worry more on how to live as a human. There are more to do and to worry at.
p/s: Calvin, this is just according to my point of view. Others might not agree with it. I don't hate girls, I won't get married and I never regret my sexuality. And I believe in 1 thing - freedom to love.
*******Quote of the day:
"It is hard enough to live as the minorities, and as a minorities among the minorities, instead of making more troubles, wasn't it better if we look after each other."
(forgot who liao)
Just for ur entertainment. A video clip I believe support my belief - the freedom to love - no matter who u liked. Long live Gary!!