Thursday, March 31, 2011

2 Free Big Breakfast Last Day!!!

1 more day to go till it end!!! Or shud I say 11 more hours.

Well I remember reading about it once in Voice it out, but then I totally forgotten about it. This morning, while checking though Facebook one of my friend posted on his wall about it. Thx Jared!!! If not I totally forgotten about this promotion. Reach the McD around 9:50 and the queue was so damn long. Waiting for 1 hour baru sampai my turn. Anyway. It'd been my first meal since past 84 hours. For those who want to go, can print out the picture below:

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Cloudy mind - Thx guys

He is going back today. I keep on having the urge to give him a call. My heart telling me, if I start to call him, all the effort will go down the drain. We promised to be friends, to keep in touch, yet, for me, it is impossible without hiding my real feeling. Even if we continue to contacted each other, it will just provide me a fake hope. 

Thanks everyone for your concern.

What is this feeling? It is the side effect? I had been woke up very early lately, around 3. Sitting in front of my laptop doing nothing, keep on refreshing the blogs to check out on the updates of other blogs. It'd been the only thing I'm interested to do now. Clicking on the news update in Facebook, to check on friend's status update. 

For the past 72 hours, I don't have the appetite to eat. Drinking only waters to avoid dehydration. I try to eat, but in the end, everything will be vomited out. Dunno why lately everything tasted bad. Today I will try the new porridge shop and have a taste on their porridge.  

Unlike myself, I'd been giving good advice to my friend when they broke up, yet easier say than done, i seem not to be able to swallow my own medicine. Being gay among the straight people is hard. I have no one to turn to say out my feeling inside me. I can't tell them I just broke up with another guy, I can't tell my family members that I just broke up with another guy. But, I am doing fine, I guess. Thanks to this blog, bit by bit I can say it out. 

Reading your guys' blog had been interesting and fun. Don't worry guys. I love you all. I will be fine. Positive thinking, positive thinking. I won't go take drugs or alcohol (I never had one).   

I remember Bravebear once said something in my comment, it will be stated below in my quotes of the day.   


Quote of the day:

原因只有一个: 时间不够长,新欢不够好。"
"In order to forget a relationship, there is only one method : times and new love. If the time and new love can't let you forget the relationship, there is only 1 reason, the time is not long enough, the new love is not good enough"
"I think the best medicine in terms of break ups is to have rational thinking. To snap out of the misery and know that when there is an end there is also a new beginning. In other words, a positive mind." 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Broke up

Inspired by Tuls' entry

3 years is not a short time period. I had been trying my best to keep this relationship going, but look like I am the only one trying to keep it. Well I think for the best of both side, it is fair to give either side times to see and think about what our future should be like. Maybe this is what "doubt" is called.

I am tired, very tired and it was the toughest decision I made when I suggested the breaking up. I loved him so much that I am willing to let him go. If one day he decided to walk with me instead of being led by me, then I am sure we do have hope and future.

The whole day feels very weird. My timetable usually revolves around him, calling him in the morning to ensure he woke up and not late to work. Calling him during lunch as he do have the tendency to skip it. Calling him in the night time to report our daily activities. This had been my daily routine for past 2 years. However, today, I didn't do any of those and the day goes very slowly, tormenting my feeling and heart. No, I didn't delete his number because no point. I already memorized his numbers.

This sacrifice is something I have to do and of course regret is there. It's just like, I am keeping a bird in a cage restricting its freedom, I should let it fly and if it returns back to me, then only I know, we are fated and meant to be together. If it didn't, I am doing ourselves a favor by not only freeing it but also freeing myself in the process.

Oh ya, thx everyone for your concern, it may be hard, but I promised I won't do anything stupid.

Quote of the days:

"A relationship is a journey to be walked by two
and not to be led by one"
"if you love that someone.. let them go..if they leave and never come back, they are not destined to be with you..."
 "if u love someone, but have doubts, shud let them go if u were meant to be, u will still cross path one day... 

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Starting anew - GYM!

Starting my single life, I want to make a drastic makeover. No, not changing my sex or doing plastic surgery. I am gay but I am not "ah kua".

My physique.... How shud I say I am.... If William relate himself to Suneo, then I think, I shud relate myself to DORAEMON!!! Short and round. I am still thin when I was in form 6. which is about 7 years ago. I start to get rounder when I start my bachelor year.

So exactly, as i promised myself in my new year resolution, i will go to gym! 
The gym that I intend to go will be the one in Berjaya Times Square - Sportstoto Fitness Center
1. Easier for me to access from home (Serdang). In fact I also planning to go to Celebrity Fitness in Midvalley. 
2.Cheap?! - Student rate, RM80 /mth + RM 25/mth for towels rental.
3.I am desperate to reduce my weight.
4.  They have 3 different classes (studio) depending on timetable for yoga, body combat (dancing) and cycling. 

I am still new in gym-ing. Never go to one before. Would really appreciate if anyone can guide me in this matter. If any of you ever heard any negative point on this gym that I want to go, please leave me a comment.

I am planning to go in May or June, April is too occupied and too sudden. 

In the end?

Today is in fact our 3rd year anniversary. We have a surprise "gift" for each other.

Currently he is in the town, arrived this morning to attend a seminar in Shah Alam. But I am not gonna visit him. If I am gonna to mentioned him in my next posts, I will use the word "ex" instead of "PP". He is my first ex. Technically, I am single now. All these years, i really have to thank him for everything. Don't get me wrong, we are still friend. Everything does not change, the only thing that change is our status, for now. Last night, in our 2 hours conversation, we agree to a conclusion:
1.If any of us found someone new within the time period when we are so far apart, that person is not to be treated as 3rd party, and if that person become the new bf, no objection should be given by the other party.
2.When we'd the chance to meet, the relationship is still friend (and fuck buddy).

Fact about us:
1. We never go beyond penetrative sex till last November.
2. He looks more like a bottom from the appearance but, in bed it is different story.
3. We should have broke up in second year when I come for Master, instead I strongly suggested for the LDR. We give it a try. 
4. We were still virgin when we started. 

*I have climbed the tree to get the apple. I reached the apple and when I try to pluck it, it remained there, unable to pluck it. Maybe I should look for new tree? Maybe I should wait till the apple is ripened to get it?

I knew it very well, if I am to meet him now, I am going to burst... ... ...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Which 1 are you?

Lets imagine, your true one / true love is an apple that grow on a very tall tree - and coincidentally, there is just 1 apple on that tree and you want to get the apple. When I say it is a very tall tree, it means it is very tall. Now imagine, there are few peoples in your group and all of you are craving for the apple, then there will be a race to get the apple.

So based on the picture, which of these people are you?

"Those who fight for their happiness" - Those who already have their target marked and don't mind working hard to achieve his goal. He won't look down and scare to fall instead will just climbed up regardless how tall the tree is (the difficulty) and try to get his apple.

"Those who scare to take risk" - Those who also climbed hard up to the tree. When the target is within reach, he looked down from the tree stem and see how tall he'd climbed. He chicken out and dare not to climb any further for fear of falling down. They'd try to get their aim, but don't dare to grab the chances because they scare if it is the right choice. What if the relationship failed? What if "he" is not  "The one"?

"Those who is unfaithful" - Eventhough the happiness is within reach, these people looks for third party or fourth party as their "reserve". Also known as Casanova or playboy. At the end, he might find his "apple"

"Those who sacrificed others" - In order to get their apple, they will play dirty and step on other people. So, in pursuing ur "the one" will u hurt othrt ppl in the process?

"Those who take shortcut" - My bad here. Should be "Those who take easy way without working hard"

"Those who just hoped"
Oh ya, happy weekend guys, am going to Genting to meet a friend who is currently on holiday from Bintulu. 
Quote of the day:
“Don't wait for your fairy godmother to appear and make your wish come true... Sometimes you need to BE your own fairy godmother.”
Jason Is A He

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Earthquake lagi.

Another earthquake hit the Asian region after previous earthquake hit Japan. This time, it hit Myanmar - our neighbouring country. It happened just few moments ago.

The news report are as following:

"A U.S. monitoring agency says a 7.0—magnitude earthquake has hit north-eastern Myanmar.
The quake struck on Thursday night near the Southeast Asian country’s borders with Thailand and Laos, about 70 miles (110 kilometers) from the northern Thai city of Chiang Rai.
The U.S. Geological Survey says it struck at a depth of 140 miles (230 kilometers) - exceptionally deep. But it could be felt as far away as Bangkok, where buildings swayed.
The Pacific Tsunami Warning Centre says it was located too far inland to generate a destructive wave."
The  Hindu

"An earthquake with a preliminary magnitude of 7.0 struck Myanmar Thursday, the U.S. Geological Survey said.
The quake hit in eastern Myanmar, about 70 miles (110 km) from Chiang Rai, Thailand, the survey reported.There were no immediate reports of damage or injuries.Earthquakes of that magnitude are capable of causing major damage, especially when they are relatively shallow. The Geological Survey initially said the quake had a depth of 142 miles (230km), but it later revised its estimate to say the quake was 6 miles (10 km) deep, putting it fairly close to the surface.A destructive tsunami is not expected, the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center said. In advice to government agencies, the center said the quake "is located too far inland and too deep inside the earth to generate a tsunami in the Indian Ocean."
Luckily, the earthquake is too far inland thus it does not initiate a Tsunami.

Talking about Myanmar, most of us don't really have much idea what they have. Unlike when we talk about Thailand, most of us would be remind of the graceful transvetite - their beauty beat most of the ladies.
When Myanmar come into my mind, the first thing that hit my mind is - Burma (the name it used to be called), the military rules and Aung San Suu Kyi.

The country is bordered by Bangladesh, Thailand China India and Laos.

As I also know not much about the country - I thought the government rule is supposed to be very very very strict with very limited entertainment available - unlike Thailand, Philippine or Vietnam. Well I am wrong. below is an example of celebrities from Myanmar

Sai Sai Khan Hlaing
male hip hop artist from Yangoon
DOB: 10th April 1979 (soon)

Anyway, hope that there will be minimum casualty and thank God i am born in Malaysia a country with very small risk of natural disaster. 

KFC - Kentucky Fried Chicken

KFC is well-known for their fried chicken. I used to like their fried chicken, especially original flavor. But now, not anymore.

Few years back, I can eat up to 3 pieces of the FC, more then that I will throw up. When I come to Serdang to study, I found out my capacity reduced to 2 piece max, more than that, toilet call. Recently, my capacity reduce to 2 bites - small bites.

I don't know why. So when I visit the malls and my friend ask for suggestion of places to eat, I will object kaw kaw KFC. Only 1 person can make me go there, and if he asked me to go there, I will order the Colonel burger instead of the chicken.

Out of random conversation during his stay in Serdang, weekend.

Me: Wake up liao, lets go for lunch
Him: Dun want~ tired, sleepy~
You took your dinner very early yesterday evening wor. No wonder so thin.
At least tapao lar. Anything you want?
Dinner plate please.
Huh?!!! 囧

*To go to KFC need transport. Luckily, my 3 housemates got car, so manage to borrow one and I manage to wake him up and had lunch at nearest KFC - of course 1 colonel burger set for me that day and him force me to take a bite on the chicken to cure my "sickness" - he just like to torture me and is the only one who can do that.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What is the coincidence?

Doing my daily routine of reading blogs and when I read Jared's post, I felt funny and before I post my comment, the word verification make me laugh even worse. Hahaha. Totally LMAO!

Whank is an old variant for the word wank which mean masturbate in the urban dictionary. His post is not on masturbating though (eventhough involves j.o). Just that what is the coincidence the word verification appear to be whank. Hahaha

Monday, March 21, 2011

Gays' Pride! - we will be married

Oh, dun be fooled by the title, it is not me getting married. The title refer to the engagement between 2 rainbows at the mainland China - MingMing (明明) and ZhiZhi (之之) that occur early this year in GuangXi.

In the breeders world, marriage is an ultimate sign or a sacrifice one made to show their love and dedication on one another. Almost every couples want their relationship to be acknowledge by other people and by the social. In Malaysia, gay couples are not really "blessed" by the social and have to hide their relationship from the community and even from their family except for closest friends or the plu circle.

Marriage is a very big decision and supposed to be sacred. Not to be tainted by adultery and scandal then end up in divorce. Blessed are the child whose parents loved each other.  Some community (in Malaysia) believed marriage is to produce offspring - well can't deny that, but if the wife can't produce children, she will be looked down by the community (sometime is not her fault though). In older China community, if a wife can't produce children within 10 years, she can be divorced and disowned by her husband's family. But in modern days, where people are getting more open-minded, marriage that failed to produce offspring does not have to end up with divorce anymore. The clip following is one of the marriage that really touched my heart.

Now back to gay relationship. Some places in the world is still fighting with their government and their religion body on gay marriage. just from my point of view, marriage or no marriage, it doesn't matter as long as I love someone (PP of coz). In Malaysia, I would have to wait till the cat to grow horn (Kucing Bertanduk) for such event to occur. However for some that is lucky enough to have it, I really have to congratulate them.

Now for Ming Ming and Zhi Zhi, wish them an eternal happy life partnership. It will be a big challenge as when you enter a marriage, open relationship would be a no-no as you pledge your loyalty to someone, to love him with all your life, in poor, in sickness, till death do you part. Given more and more "saliva drooling" hot and beautiful guys emerging days by days - miracle made by the beauty products and gym.

Their engagement poster

Some of their shirtless cute photos

It took me around 20 minute to stream the video from youku, thus I took the liberty to download and upload it here @@

The moment at 4:21 - 4:56 is quite touching, where they sung the song "我只在乎你" (that originally sung by Teresa Tang). 

Wish them a happy life ahead. 

Marriage or no marriage, life have to go on.
Marriage or no marriage, you know how I feel for you.
Marriage or no marriage, I will make you happy.
Marriage or no marriage, I am only yours.

Happy Monday guys. 

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

A letter from a mother

I would like to share a letter that had been around in the Internet to all the readers. The translated version is prepared for readers who don't read Chinese.









不就4 年吗?等儿子回国后...我还是能和我儿子一起...




English version (tried my best to translate it)

Dear children,


My son is a gay and I personally experienced raised him up, thus here I think I am qualified to address something to all the gays out there.  

In fact, the love between gays is very pure ... If people say marriage between men and women is because of love, 
but I rather say that marriage is in fact just to produce descendant for the continuity of the society. However, for men to be together with another men, it is really for the feeling - love.

Ever since I knew my son is gay ...I also used to wander in loss... I'd been working hard to raise him up ... ... it is not easy, he lost in his father when he was 3 years old. Since then, I never remarried fearing that his stepfather will fail to treat him nicely......I went through all this hardship alone.

On May 1, 2004 ...I was supposed to work overtime ... But someone took over for me, thus I rushed back home to cook for my son....But when I got home and opened my son's bedroom door, I could not believe my eyes ... My son (Man) is having sex with my neighbour's son (Long) who is 2 years older than Man ... Then I went back to my bedroom, sat on the bed-shock and confused... ... Is this really my son? ...  The one that is studying in Nankai University, that had been very obedient and filial to me?... or the one that had been making me feeling proud? I didn't know, how long had Man knelt in front of me. Holding my leg and said "Mom, I'm sorry, I'm gay. I love Long Long and he really loved me. I'd disappoint you and make you angry, but if you love me, you will accept me the way I am"

The next day ... I went to Tianjin and visited bookstores there ... I bought many books  about homosexuality ... and also surf the Internet (Baidu) regarding the matter ... I asked leave stay home ... reading about the book i bought earlier, and also read the gay posts from the Internet ... Slowly, my heart was deeply touched by you all... There are changes on my perception and though about the matter... I finally understand my problem and my son's feeling. Man must be feeling more troubled than me. I must have that conversation with my son. Then later, after he came back from school, just like I thought, he was really depressed and said that he don't want to live anymore. I cried and I hugged my son "Man, don't be silly, you are my everything, if you are to leave me, what am I going o do? As long as you live ... you can choose what kind of lifestyle you want ... Mom did not have any knowledge about homosexuality before" 

Since that conversation, I had accepted my son sexuality and his boyfriend - Long. Long as I mentioned earlier is my neighbor's son and is also studying in Nankai University, fourth year.  He had been my son's teacher, friend and senior. He spent a lot of time at our place -studying together. This continue until one day, Long start to study at a university in London to do research. They separated, but they promised to meet again at the university one year later.

This year, my son also successfully passed his entrance examination into the university and accepted into the same university Long was studying. Before he went to London, Man tried his best to introduce me to some men. He is afraid that I will be lonely and no one will be taking care after me. He was so persistent that I have to promise him I will look for a life partner. Before his flight, I said to him " Just rest assured and study hard .... next time regardless of what the boys you are together with... Mom will respect your choice ... even if the society does not recognize you ... but mom will recognize the ... You two are always accepted into our family" . My son shed his tear again, biting his teeth and nodded his head before going to London.

My son is currently living happily in London with Long. As for my promised, I am gonna break it. I am scared that the guy my son introduced can't give him the happiness he deserved. Well, 4 years later, my son is gonna return home and I still have my son to accompany me. 

In fact ... In my opinion, every gays in the world can live happily and deserve their happiness. This is because, their love is pure and please don't blame yourselves for your sexuality. try to find courage to face your life. Find the lifestyle that suit you and I also hoped that every parent orld of homosexuals can be happy ... Because their love is pure ... please do not blame gays ... To find the courage to face life ... a lifestyle ... I also hope the parents not to put all blame on their children but instead show them more love and affection. 

If one day, your child come out of closet to you and confessed their sexuality, please, be like your child, brave enough to accept them like they are brave enough to tell you about their sexuality. 

Wish all the children had a happy life...... 


I dunno if you guys ever have a clear look on the gay casanova's that i posted earlier.
Below are his pictures.

He claimed to be 23... looked 32 to me or maybe older.... and this is the guy who had at least 100 peoples dropped their pants at and almost 200 people swindled at. 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

WARNING: HIV swindler on loose - tipu duit, sex and sebar AIDS (pic shown in Video)

(Mandarin news)

English version news came this out this morning in The STAR Read here. The following video is posted in Youtube.
For those who understand Mandarin will understand what the news is about. For those who don't, i will make a brief translation. The news was in the NTV7 last night (9/3/2011).

The news start with
"When the victim claimed that they were cheated for their money and sex, we must be imagining a poor lady. but this time, the victim is a guy and the swindler is also a guy"

A police report had been made by victims from KL and Penang on a gay guy known as Kelvin or sometime also known as Alvin age 23. One of the victims, surname Tai by the age of 17 (damn young!), somewhere in October (about 5 months ago) get to know about  Kelvin from a pen-pal magazine (?). he contacted  Kelvin on the first day via SMS, then on second day,  Kelvin ask him out (maybe as a date or something) and they have sex, and on the third day,  Kelvin stole stuff from his house - computer (most probably laptop) and handphone beside that...... he also have a medical checkup and found out he kena AIDS.

The second victim (Tan)- he get to know Kelvin from his primary school friend. They went out for movie. After movie, they went to the hotel nearby (why wor).  Kelvin then asked him to go for bath (why listen leh?) and after bath, Kelvin pushed him onto the bed. He tried to push him away, but he claimed that he doesn't have that much energy.... he have sex with  Kelvin. Sound like a rape case.... However (at 02:29-02:31), there is newspaper cutting on a news at 17th February on a friend being swindled off RM 5000 via his ATM card (his ATM password was his birthday date).  I believed the victim in the news is Tan (got resemblance in term of hair style, story line and other info) . Read here and read here 2 Beside swindled off RM 5000 via his ATM,  he also lost his handphone and RM50. Worse part, he has high chance to kena AIDS (dunno yet, because just happened recently). 

Third victim - from Penang. according to him, Calvin had been pursuing after him and try many method to win over his heart. Even though he (Calvin) is not that good-looking, but, he is very nice to people and very caring. Calvin is also very good in talking beside being very charming thats why he trusted him. 

According to the news, Calvin was managed to be contacted on 28th February and he admitted that he have AIDS....... According to the news clip, at least 193 guys have been swindled and 100 of them had sexual relationship. Haiz.......

Hmmm....... from this video, I make some conclusions.
Have casual sex at your own risk.
No condom, no sex
Don't use your birthday date as ATM password - try to change it from time to time.
Don't ever lend your ATM card to anyone.
Always practice safe sex - no condom no sex.
Be careful when meeting someone new, beware and don't easily kena tipu.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Adjustment Bureau

So today I went out with my buddies and we watched the adjustment bureau (The AB). At first we want to watch Drive Angry but most of their friends had watched it prior and gave a bad review.

The story start with a kick-ass young man, David Norris (Matt Damon) rises in politic, despite heading with few points in front of his opponent, lost it eventually due to some video prank he made earlier on. On the night he gave his speech, he met a mystery lady, Elise (Emily Blunt) inside the washroom while he practicing his speech. They have a kiss and he fell in love with the mystery lady. That night he out of norm, gave a kick-ass speech which revive his career as the politician and fight for the senate seat again 3 years later. but without him knowing, he in fact was followed by someone (something) from the AB. and in fact all that happened to him was in fact according to their plan. One day, due to failure of an agent to delay him to work, he saw something he shouldn't see and was taken by the AB to their headquarters and threatened him that they will reset his mind if he ever reveal the existence of the AB.

From my opinion.... The AB is a bureau created by the Chairman (God) and the workers (angels) are assigned to make sure all the event goes according to the plan. They believed that human being had been taking for granted their free will and had misused it and caused the bad happenings (World War 1, Great Depression, etc) throughout history. Their existence is to limit the free will and to prevent bad happening. The agent have special ability - reset human memory (if approved by the chairman), affect the decision making ability of human, reading the possible path of their subjects, telekinesis and door-to-door dimension walking (something like Doraemon's Pintu suka hati but does not direct bring them to their destination) - turnign the doorknob clockwise will bring them somewhere, anti-clockwise to their office. The power is limited by watery body (lake, river, rain) and also when their hat fell down from their head).

According to the plan, David Norris is not suppose to be with Elise. However, he chooses his power of free will and fight for his love, even though he was given a strong warning by the AB and threaten to hurt him and the lady........

I gave the movie 3.2 out of 5. I liked the story and the concept, but I think, they still can offer more - thriller, power, story line and at least shows that the AB is indeed a very powerful agency and can kick-ass.

So, some of us asked, why are we gay? Is it our choice or is it destined for us? For me, personally thinking, God gave us free will and all he asked from us is to love him, to love one another like we love ourselves. So in short, all he want from us is to LOVE. So, is homosexuality wrong or not, I don't mind. As long I LOVE others and don't causes harm to other people. I choose to be me and won't regret of what I chooses. Whatever the future holds, let it be. Que sera-sera~