When the world is no longer yours

When people are depressed or having a very big break down, they tend to feel like everyone surrounding them started to neglect them. 


April 1st, is widely regarded as April fool day. It is a day when people played prank on their friends, teachers, colleague and family members. 


But April 1st also is a quite important day for the Cantopop lover. 8 years ago, Leslie Cheung (also known as Gor Gor) took his own life by leaping out from 24th floor of Mandarin Oriental Hotel at the age of 46. At first most of the people thought that this is a mean joke created - like the one created on Jackie Chan's death in recent years.


Rumors about the cause of his death spread so fast that his family urged tabloids to let Cheung rest in peace, and not to sensationalize his sexual orientation and reasons for suicide. The day after Leslie's death, his long time partner, Tong, confirmed that Cheung suffered from (clinical) depression and had been seeing psychiatrists for treatment for almost a year. He also revealed that Cheung had attempted suicide in 2002. Later at his funeral, Cheung's niece disclosed that her uncle had severe clinical depression and suffered much over the past year (2003).


This is his suicide notes:
-"Depression! 多謝各位朋友，多謝麥列菲菲教授，這一年很辛苦，不能再忍受， 多謝唐先生，多謝家人，多謝肥姐. 我一生沒做壞事 為何這樣?"


Translation: 
-"Depression! Many thanks to all my friends. Many thanks to Professor Felice Lieh-Mak (Cheung's last psychiatrist, 麥列菲菲). This year has been so tough. I can't stand it anymore. Many thanks to Mr. Tong. Many thanks to my family. Many thanks to Fei-Fei (Lydia Sum). In my life I did nothing bad. Why does it have to be like this?"


In a 1997 concert, Cheung openly revealed that Daffy Tong (唐鶴德) was his "most beloved" after his mother. The Hong Kong media eventually accepted the two men's relationship and the tabloid gave Tong the nickname Tong Tong (in the style of Gor Gor). After Cheung's death, Cheung's family published a full-page obituary in a Hong Kong newspaper, in which Tong was listed as a surviving spouse (未亡人). 

lastly, I would like to dedicate this poem to those who are depressed:

The world is always there for you,

even when you are covered with dirt.

Even when you breath no more,

move no more,

lying in that rectangular box.

The world is no longer yours,

when you gave up hope,

Gave up the will to breath once more,

gave up the faith for love,

Gave up that joy for the old wound.

Who'd never been heartbroken?

Who'd never been left to wander in the dark.

It is not how long you were blinded by darkness,

it is when you find the light again. 


Come to me,
When the world is no longer yours,
When you are scared to reach to the sky
When fear and sadness is your only lover,
I will give you a hug and tell you
"Even if you think the world is no longer yours, I will be there for you"


One Leslie Cheung best work. Enjoy :)

***********

Quote of the day:

"It’s Friday, Friday

Gotta get down on Friday"

Rebecca Black

(The song is damn contagious) 

"Never Think Hard about PAST,

It brings Tears...

Don't Think more about FUTURE,

It brings Fears... 

Live this Moment with a Smile,It brings Cheers.!!!!" 

Jared's mum