Scribble, scribbling

In another few hours, I am gonna fly back to Sarawak for Christmas.

I wonder.... what will you do... if you know the next Christmas is gonna be your last with your family and friends, will you try to make it memorable? 

or will you just let it passed like any other Christmas that you had celebrated before?

Maybe I am really born to be a lone wolf... in the end. 

December

So, I got back from Johor - family vacation there. Been to Legoland, and it is pretty nice.

If Genting was meant to be played by youth or the teenagers, Legoland is for the other main group of people.  From dating couples (I saw dating gay couple - thx to my kaypo-ness), families with small chilren or even the pre-teens, to the older people. It is a place for people to relax, have fun and be safe.

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So, I believe most of you had been in a courtship before - courting other people or the one being courted. I am still new in this. How to say..... it had not been difficult, just "I like you, can we date" then poof couple liao.

This time, I am courting a person, whom i never see, whom i dunno and only chatted through msn and facebook. lately got his phone number, and use whatsapp. Talking via skype - no skype sex or web sex. To be frank, being me, I always talk about stuff like, work, interest, family etc. Those who knows me, know that I usually talk about healthy stuff. Not the usual - how long? how big? wanna have fun? - sort of things. Maybe becos I am a Taurean?

Even when my straight friend ask me what I usually talk about, I just told him the normal stuff. Not the sex, not the kinky stuff. Sometimes, these friend I ask my opinion on. And if they are being emo, I always offer my ears to listen - sometimes I got brushed away of course, wakakaka.

Don't know if this is just a mere coincidence, my previous dates are all Cancerian. And this person I am pursuing is also a cancerian. Will try to arrange a meet up with him next year. This month is to hectic for both of us.

Ah, and Tuls, congratz!!!! Happy for you man.

**** lost few inches and kg's but also need to lose more before X'mas.The road is still too far to go. OMG

Compatibility

Why you seek relationship?
 - Maybe because you are ready for the serious stuff?
 - or is it just for fun?
 - or is it just to know-how - the experience??
 - or just the hormone?
Maybe it is all of the above.
Or it just happened.....

But how do you know he is the one? I don't think we will ever know that. Because whenever we like someone, we tend to think that he is the one. Example:
 -Finally I found the prince of my life
 -He is the one, yea, he will complete me.
 -He match all my expectation, omg that 6 packs, ahhhhhh (sorry sound shallow bit here)

What I want to say is, that person, the one for us, is he written on the rock? As if, he is destined? Maybe, if we want to think of it in a more romantic way. However, wat I think more importantly, is he compatible? In term of, can he tolerate our bad behavior, as in, we tolerate his? If neither can't, then they are not compatible.

Compatibility, as I think includes if you can tolerate each other weaknesses. You can satisfy each other needs. Most importantly, you are comfortable with each other. Then only you can feel the heat of love. But then again, it is just one of the criteria, which I think is important.


by the way, for some people, physical appearance, is important example
 - I am 190 cm tall.... look weird if i date a 140 cm tall guy. : P


Just a thought.

But then again, when the time comes, it comes, so for those out of love, maybe he is not the one. So please, don't be too sad of yourself . It took me a year plus to understand this. There are more guys out there, and 1 of them maybe 1 of the one for you.

Gay housemate(s)

How does it feels if u stay with 3, 4 or 5 other housemates and all are gays? Or at least confused about their sexuality?
Orgy? Party? Open opportunity to talk about your problems? -> less stress?
What if majority are closeted? Will you try to oust them to other housemates? Or should you respect their decision to remain closeted even among other (gay) housemates? Hmmmm kinky rite?
Or is it in fact not a big deals? Let say if you are the only one who knows.
This came put during a conversation with another (gay) friend. He was pretty enthusiastic in looking for other (gay) housemate.
Being me, I just replied by - we shouldn't look at other people just based on their sexuality, we are all just the same except for the sex preference part.
However he keep on insisting, it will be totally different comparing to live with his (current/straight) housemate.
""Different?" Of course it gonna be different, however, knowing (straight) people, I know which group has more drama, so are you ready to handle it when drama happens"  I said
"At least it is the drama that I can handle" he replied  ~.~|||

hahahahahaha, so what do you think?

Updates

Weight lifting ... cardio.... weight lifting..... cardio
Yay, now I see 2 figures in my weighing scale. It had been months since I see these digit (secret for now). My worst had been  11x something kg (for my height... thats a nono)
High protein low carb - does it help?
For now mostly sayur and tomato - that I thought I am turning into vegetarian if not becos of the egg.
This time, I am doing it seriously. I have seen the minor result of 2 weeks plus. Digging out the Karate kata that I learn from the past, it had been a routine for me to train at night time.
Oh ya, I am only joining my friend in doing work out. They have this small room for gym equipment at the condo so, I am just using these equipment with my friend.
The sudden changes in lifestyle is due to my high blood pressure. It had been peaking high a month back. Not to scare u off (195/150) where the normal bp is (120/90). I refused to take medication. But now, due to the workout I am having, it start to reduce well (140/90). no more red meat!!! Less carb for now. Let see how far I can go this time.
Oh btw, I am having a crush on someone now. Its time to move on from the previous story. It is the past. Since he is my first, he always had this special place in my heart. But since it doesn't work out, no point crying your heart out. Right? Wow.... it took me 1 year plus to move on =.="

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Quotes of the day since long time din post

"hm... whats 15% of 100... its 15!!!!"
                                                           From the blondest thing I heard today by TULS  

Fool

How to hate someone that you cannot hate?
In order to stop loving him as you can't get him back.
I can't ignore you, neither can I forgive you.
I can't forget you neither can I harm you.
Now the whole story is clear, and I realize....
How love can make someone becoming so stupid
Losing my cool, losing my head, losing my mind
I am just not me anymore.
If you have the same instinct that I do.... trust it.
Don't question it why,
because you might not be able to handle the truth,
the ugliness of something beautiful that you had been always adoring
In the end,
It is just an illusion\
and I am just a fool.

Scary as Hell

Did any of you ever being approached by someone you knew and said "Hey you, I read what you wrote in blog" Then you realized, you did write and never mentioned it to him/her? Yea, it happened to me few months back.

Thus for some safety measurement, I broke my oath and keep some of the post as a draft. I never admit it nor did I try not to admit it. I am just not ready yet... to out myself......

Sorry for the long absence. It had been a tough time for me. Maybe this year is a bad year. All I can hope for is a better year next year.

Back few weeks ago to my hometown. My mum asked me again, got gf? bila kahwin? and as expected my answer is "no gf, will never kahwin" - told her will sacrifice "kahwin" for my future career. And maybe, I just would.

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point to ponder:
"Subsidy for sugar reduced by 20 cent per kg.. why in the hell... a glass of ice kosong also increases by 10 cent per glass?"

House cleaning day

When we have so much in mind, it is best to channel that "fan nao-iness" (烦恼）- trouble in your mind- , into a more positive way.

Seems after all the episodes in my life, turning into house cleaning is a very effective way. However some people prefer opt to go to gym.

Living in a house with all boys, cleanliness is indeed a question. "I dun means guys dun clean up, but correct me if i am wrong about... guys don't usually sweep the floor or do house chores unless being told"

Some time, I woke up at 4 in the morning and unable to sleep..... instead of wasting my times staring at the ceiling, it seems it is much more beneficial... if i use this time to sweep the floor, mop it till squeaky clean ~~ or wash the toilet or bathroom ~~ or clean the kitchen area~~ it seems there are many many things that can be done.

The worst thing that i thrown away in these past few weeks is ~~~~~ few packets of instant noodles expired 2 years ago *dang *dang *dang - i don't eat instant noodles it belongs to 1 of my housemates.

Talking about mopping the floor, the feeling of lying on a squeaky clean floor is indeed marvelous ~ golek~ golek~ golek wahahahahahaha

Anyway, for the time being, house chores is done daily but cleaning day is set on Friday night~ Muahahahahaha... today is thursday... hmmmm

Chiao~

The legends

Hmmm, olympic start today, fasting season started 1 week ago. My blog had been in hibernation mode for 4 months, really feel like a season long. Lots to say, but will say (share) it slowly, no rush (hahahahahaha)

Being alive is not just about still having a body that breath. As long you open your mind, you will find lots of meaning that is to exist along with life. Being alive, you can create a legacy, be a legend of your own making. Example, just like the opening ceremony that I watched, Sir Rowan Atkinson, in 50 years from now, mentioning rowan atkinson, now all will remember this name, but "Mr. Bean" will be known at every corner of the world for at least another century, just like Charlie Chaplin of the past. In Malaysia, we have P.Ramlee, another legendary figure whose film can still beat the modern movies.

Then there are clips of The Beatles and Queens (Freddie Mercury's band) in the opening ceremony. If the world are not changing, Freddy Mercury will still be hated by those haters (homophobic people). Talking about The Queens, also remind me of "The Queen" - Queen Elizabeth the second. She lived to see yet another Olympic game in the soil of England since the last one at 1948.

Well, legends are not just people who impressed/ inspired/ stunned people by their result, but most importantly they have 1 thing in common - the spirit of not giving up.  Talking about giving up... the news of those committing suicide does make me wondering.... is that really your last resort in life? If you don't give up, you still have  chances to make changes and who knows what kind of legendary story you can create in life?

Omegle

So bored today. So try this omegle and talk with strangers.
It is a new experience. Not bad by the way. talking about stuff you don't usually talk to anyone.
Too bad, I don't have web cam. If not maybe can troll around >.<

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Got a phone call from my best friend this morning. Well, he just announced to me that he gonna get married at the end of the year. Confirm fly to Kuching. Woo hoo. long time din go there also.

Happy VDay

"When 2 person really love each other much, everyday is valentine day"

14th feb is a date in a year, where couples will celebrate their relationship.

Most ppl will write how they gonna spend today.... but i will do a bit-bit different

Guess some of u dunno, in Korea especially, every 14th day of the month is relate to valentine day.

The chronology are as follow

February: 14/2
If you like someone, today is the day you give him a bar of chocolate. Be assure, if he is single, your bar of chocolate is not the only 1 he will receive.
likewise, if you receive that bar of chocolate, jus accept it.

March: 14/3 - White Day
A month had passed. If you give him chocolate, today, is the day to know how he feels about you. If he give you back chocolate or candy, means he also like you. There is chance
If you accept that chocolate from someone, if you like him, and wanna to give him a chance, give him back chocolate or candy. But if you are sure that you like him.. why not just tell him how you feel?

April 14- Black Day (there are 2 version)
Black here refer to the black sauce use in a noodle or ramen. If both of you haven officially going out or dated, today is a good day. Invite the person out and eat noodle. Usually, when people meet up, they will know each other more. If eating that bowl of ramen make both of u happy, maybe, there are chemistry between u 2.

If you dun get anythg on White Day, then call ur fren who are single, and eat noodle together to celebrate your singledoom!!! muahahahahahaa

may 14 - Yellow Day
Chocolate: sent
Noodle: eaten
now is a day to know how he really feels. You can either ask him directly.... but first send him rose.
White: Normal friend
Yellow: I know how you feel but i am still unsure.
Red: Lover
his answer will depend on the roses he gave u. if he gave u white... time to move on. Yellow... better move on.. red... congrate (rhyme leh)

June 14 - kiss day
Let say he gave u red roses, but both of you might not officially dated yet. Well congrates, today, you 2 might kiss for the first time. well you can say, officially dated. (I heard in korea, japan and china, couples will kissed openly during this day... but definitely not in M'sia)

July 14 -silver day
well, today, either of u will give each other a silver accessory. Usually it is silver ring.

August 14 - Green day
On Green day, both of u are suppose to spend today in nature. Picnic, jungle-trekking etc etc. try to get out from the city life once in a while.
Holiday at Tioman Island is not a bad idea either.....

September 14: photo and song day
After dated for a while, both of you shud have practised some love song.... well today, you 2 shud sing it out with others.. maybe at KTV? Singing Duet song. let say you voice is not that good, but, just get the camera out and take a snap. keep those sweet/enjoyable memory.

October 14 - wine day.... no need to elaborate... start to get boring sia....
November 14 - Orange and movie day.... orange here refer to orange juice..
December 14 - hug day

January 14 - Diary and candle day
Write your wish and dream for your future in the diary.. give it to ur loved one. But if you are lazy, just send him a candle to symbolize warm and bright future waiting ahead.

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Crazy time await

CNY approaching, getting nearer. Like for the pass 2 years, this year I am gonna spend it alone again in KL.

Don't take the word "alone" too badly. Some how, maybe this is what I wanted all along? A simulation on seeing, if I can celebrating festive occasions on my own.

Okay okay, crazy time is my friends are gonna came back from australia. So tomoro gonna have a crazy karaoke session from 7 pm to 4 am at RM35 only - include buffet.... Can I hear some woo hoo???

The longest i ever spend for karaoke is 5 hours.

BTW, I passed my final presentation already (yeah) : next will be writing my paper; writing my thesis; then viva.... hope can finish by next semester....

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Ah, enjoy this pic!! The "hydrogen" is cute~ Well, it is another crazy world out there..

RM200 voucher

Coming tuesday will have my final presentation, then will be free (well my writing thesis: current status 60% done)

Talking about RM200 voucher, yea, I jus went and got it yesterdat, so today was at first planning to spend it at kinokuniya. Hmmmm jus dunno wat book to get though. Muahahahaha

However, suddenly, my ex-housemate, Y suddenly ask me to go to Midvalley instead, well, Midvalley has the biggest MPH, maybe can search for books there too.

Happy Saturday guys

**I lost my camera charger.......

1st post in 2012

Ouch.....
Happy new years (hope isn't too late)
erm.....
ekkkk...
1 more week, then will have my final report presentation; thesis now at ard 75% (havent checked by my supervisor yet) lab work and field study all done.
Social life? almost none.
Other life? Also almost none.
But, life is about enjoying things you like... so, fuck the mainstream!!! Muahahaha

2012 is a year to improve my spirituality, strengthened my mind and hopefully my financial status. After finish master... will I further my phD here in UPM serdang? I am still not pretty sure. Already entering 27.... but having a master is like alang-alang..... kekawan pun banyak yang sudah kahwin, have stable job..... hmmm..... hopefully I am investing right into my life. Well... like what I said......fuck the mainstream (again) muahahahaha.

Just realized ... according to my brother....... gay is pondan and pondan is gay.... wanna correct him... but dun dare, takut pecah rahsia.

Now how many of you make "survive 2012" as 1 of ur new year resolution? well, not me.