Beside people who read this blog, I had finally manage to come out to certain people in my life. I mean people who knows me, for long time.
The first person I manage to come out with is a friend whom I shud call S. In fact, I shouldn't say I come out to him. I found out about his blog when he commented on another bloggers post. Then I go check his blog and saw his picture, after that checking all the blogs he'd been following then I said to myself "throw yourself into Yellow River also won't make urself clear"
But great thing is, now I have my own plu friends. No longer only PP and my own world. I mean, at least I have someone to talk to, about my secret, feelings etc etc etc. So instead of coming out to him, we come out to each other, so cannot say is coming out yet lar.
Then, the next person whom I came out with is another friend whom I shud just call Pete. Last week, we went for pasta-ing. and I mentioned the reason for the pasta-ing is to survey the taste for PP. Then all out of sudden he ask, "are you les? (instead of gay)" I didn't deny straight, I ask him back what he think? He say ya, all my action on how caring I am toward a guy really make me look gay. So I admit.
At first the question is a joke, then, suddenly I being serious of the matter, surprises him. Then he ask me of all the normal question a straight guy asked. Oh yeah, this guy is cute and straight. The first question he asked is
"So who is the person who poked and being poked" (what he meant is bottom and top)
"How does it feel compare to poking a girl?" (ya, I lost my virginity to a female friend when I was 16)
"So, you two ever planned to get married?"
"Wasn't it wrong for the Christian?"
Pete is still a virgin according to him. Well normal occurrence for 18 years old Sarawakian.
From his reaction, my sexuality won't bother much of our friendship.
But, it will take another many many years for me to come out to my family. Not yet to my homophobic brother, not to my high-blood pressure dad, and definitely not to my super religious mum (it might turn into another "Prayer for Bobby"). When the right time comes, I will just do it according to the situation. They won't kick me out of the house, but the shocking news will kill them... and me.... literally.
So that is my coming out of closet story. So what about yours? So, in the mean times, among the people I knew, 2 person had known about my not-so-little secret.
Well.. some of my close friends know about me and they are okay with that.. as for the other close friends, I'm slowly working on it to them..
ReplyDeletemost of my college mate who knows me well knows about it... none of my family members know about it yet... sigh.
ReplyDeleteto me, its the other way round..
ReplyDeleteeveryone in the world knew, except 2.. which is father and mother :P
haiz, well.. i am basically kept in my own closet for quite a long time... dun noe when i can tell ppl. =/
ReplyDeletei tell myself if i hav a very very stable relationship then i will go all out., meh, seeing where this circle is going, i think i will keep tmy secret to the grave. ~_~
Coming out to parents is a very skillful art where nothing in the world can guarantee what will happen, no matter how well you know them. Choose who to come out carefully because you are not prepared to be totally open yet, right? Wish you luck in your coming out journey.
ReplyDeleteCome to a good friend is great, but make sure he/she is discreet; else the news may spread like wildfire. Coming out to parent requires good tactic and timing and they may not accept it easily.
ReplyDelete@Pikey: Lucky you, wish you luck with your family.
ReplyDelete@Jason: No wonderlar your mum keep on rushing you to get a girl fren :P
@Takashi: Looks like father and mother is the hardest obstacle ler ...
@VIncent: Hope you fas fas have stable relationship. But to go all out in England might be a good choice. Who knows u got to hit the Jackpot there?
@Legolas @Skyhawk: Hope you two will post on coming out to parents.
@Skyhawk: I am quite aware of the risk. Thats why I had been discreet all these year. But I believed in Pete becoz I had seen him grown up. And even if it spread like a wildfire, then who knows what happen next?