Are you hiding something?

This is a phrase from the World AIDS Day brochure - it contains message from Pink Triangle Malaysia.

Oh ya, yesterday went to the event, with PP. Was searching for Pikey and Brave Bear, but, Sg Wang is a very crowded place, so in the end, didn't found them. Spent very little time there - around 30 minutes I guess. PP quite don't like the place - crowded and small. Before went to Sg. Wang, we had some window shopping at Berjaya Times Square.

Now to my main post. I always heard people said "you are gay? Then you are going to have AIDS". So my question now, is AIDS, gay disease? Well, answer is No. Just because you are gay, you are not going to have AIDS if you know what to do. Everyone is at risk, even higher if they are happened to be:

i) Drug user - due to sharing used noodle with other individual - which will easily spread the virus into the blood stream
ii) Sex workers (having unprotected sex with different customers from unknown background, disease history and lifestyle.
iii) Man who have sex with man (not necessarily gay) - due to sexually active lifestyle. Male use condom when fucking a female to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Some have this misconception on condom only as a tool of preventing pregnancy thus don't use it when have sex with other male.

However, I noticed 1 thing, the brochure from the World AIDS day seems to trying pass a message for the gay people on a more careful lifestyle which is good. And is quite bold, knowing our country's authority's tolerance toward the man-to-man sexual behavior.

Ribbons from the World AIDS Day.

The message is very clear. "Always use condom during sex" and "No condom, no fuck". They also prepare free anonymous HIV screening.

For more detail:
Call 03- 4044 4611 Mon-Fri 10 am- 6 pm (Free anonymous HIV screening)
Call 03 - 4044 5455/5466 (telephone counselling on HIV/AIDS and sexuality issue)

If you are sexually active individual, you might be hiding something, knowingly or unknowingly. HIV screening can help to stop the spreading of AIDS or other STD.

p.s : was not involve with the voluntary work.

Laksa and mee curry

I missed Sarawak laksa very very much. Some of my friend told me that curry mee in Serdang taste almost the same but well, to me..... they are not!!!

I had not been to Kuching for almost 5 years liao. If you guys have the chance of going to Kuching, please don't miss a chance of going to the Golden Arch which is at the third miles. They offer you one of the best Sarawak Laksa and the prawns are very big and delicious. The gravy.... are to die for. I missed the good old day. One of my friend's family had been in laksa business for many years. He once told me, prawns shell are mixed into the gravy to enhance the taste and also to reduce the oily/greasy taste of the gravy. It is quite true as some laksa vendor sell very oily laksa thus make us potong steam.

Curry Mee in the other hand, is still okay. But till now, all the curry mee I had eaten are greasy. The taste is almost similar to Sarawak laksa but, they are not the same. Next month holiday, must go eat laksa.

Piece of thought and karaoke session

I wonder how many of you ever thought, for example, let say cancer, will you tell your family and friends that you have one?

Let say, you already in the final stage and there is no hope for recovery, will you break the news to your family and friends? For me, if I am to be diagnose for one (touch wood), and I will be the only person who knew it beside my doctor, I will not tell my family.

My best friend died of one, few of my family members also died of it. I had seen their pain and suffering during the chemotherapy. I was told also, it will be more painful death if you don't do any treatment. But it will be more painful to see ur mum wept for you even before u die. If I am to be in that situation, I will not take chemo. People will die eventually, I will choose a more natural way.

They may have the right to know, but to see them happy and lead normal life before your  "departure" will be the priority.

Now come 1 important part, what about your darkest secret? Your parents' son is a gay, will you go out of closet to your family if you were told to only have let say 3 more months to go? Some of us opt to bring our secret to our grave, so that our parents' son is remembered to be a good son, who don't have the chance to get married, having kid due to sickness.  Some will bet and put it all in. Knowing there is nothing to lose. What will you choose?

For those who have a couple or a partner, how will your family treat them? Will they accept the person as their "in-law"? Will they let him to mourn for you as your "spouse"? Uncertainty, uncertainty, uncertainty....
At least Leslie Cheung managed to let his lover to mourn for him as his spouse.
Just to think of.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Last Tuesday, I went for karaoke with PP at Neway, his first time going karaoke. We went with our housemate. Had a hard time to bring him for karaoke. He said, he was phobia with mic wor, shy to sing with friend wor. But then manage to convince him jugalah, My persuasive power was quite amazing.

Anyway, my compulsory songs are:
1 无可救药 - 品冠
2 江湖笑 - 周华健
3 So What - Pink
4. My Way - Frank Sinatra
5. New York, New York - Frank Sinatra
6. It's my life - Bon Jovi
etc etc.... (the songs are quite old =.=")

That night we sang duet for
1. Love me tender - Elvis?!!!
2. Beauty and the beast - Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson
3. At the beginning - Richard Marx and forgot-who-liao

Then he sang a song for me... wonder it has hidden meaning or not?
1. 来不及 - 罗忆诗

I video taped it as this is "supposed" to be his solo song till interrupted by my other housemate.
I never heard this song before. So I didn't check the lyric, just now I watch the youtube version, seems like the song is quite sad. Dunno is a good sign or a bad one?

Anyway, 7 hours of karaoke session 7:45 till 3 a.m.


The song he sang

Uncle visit

Last week, my temper was really..... bad. Cold treatment, hurtful remark, uttering nonsense and occasionally making what my mum refer as the "vengeful eye" - red and "sharp" macam mahu pick a fight type of eye.
Erm...... now okay liao lar.

I guess it was caused by few factors:
1. I drastically reduce my food intake a.k.a having diet - will somehow affect your mood. Hungry people somehow get angry easier.
2. Stressed with my research. Dahlar hungry, but I dun give in for the food temptation.
3. Uncertain weather -tetiba panas, tetiba hujan. Rocks also will break. Somehow, this make me moody.

My mood swing really change very very very very very fast.

So I somehow
1. take a break from my diet for a while, will try to reduce it slowly. Kuruskan badan memang susah... : (     last friday, kena belanja by kawan for fatty bakuteh at Puchong there. haiz.... memang memang susah.
2. Take a break from it for now. Continue after cuti raya haji.
3. Hujan.... ponteng jer, tidor kat rumah.

So practically, i am giving myself an excuse to lazy around after 2 busy weeks.

Currently, my mind is very clear and calm. I am still 25 but my mind and body seems to age faster. Time to rejuvenate my body and mind and soul. For health of course.

About  PP, well, his work scheduale currently is still manageable. My supervisor offered him a title for research under her grant - with pay sumore. Study and get paid 1500/mth. He still reconsidering. New mission for me. Hmmmmm......

Thx to my research scheduale, we didn't go outing this week. However, I was planning for a karaoke session this Tuesday at Neway. he never went for a karaoke session before.

Happy Monday guys. Just to conclude today's post.

So finally

1. So sorry for the not updating my blogs. First of all, happy deepavali to all Hindus out there. Ya, he is here, my dear is here.

2. Was busy walking around last week - Berjaya Times Square, Pavilion, Sungei Wang, Low Yat...Was planning to go to Midvaley and The Garden but, that can wait.

3. Today was his third day working with my supervisor. He supposed to sit for KPLI exam this Saturday at Kota Samarahan, but, since he is here, well, may as well fong it a fei gei. (yes, my plans work half way, wakaka)

4. No, we don't sleep together, in the same house but, in different room. My room is smaller and warmer, one of the housemate is facing financial problem so, he requested for him to stay in his room. As reluctant as i was, but after he agreed and as I consider all the situation,  he slept in that housemate's room - bigger room. I also suggest to switch room, but he has more stuff so, hmmmm, unless a new person is to come, then thats it. But somehow, that won't stop our you-know-what when noone is watching. End of the month, that particular housemate will be going for practical for 7 weeks, so, that room, practically will be ours - evil me. ";..;" Among my housemates, I acted straight.

5. That particular housemate was at his hometown during that week as it is study week. So, we have the room for ourselve till Saturday. Our first night here is not as what I expected, he is so damn tired of packing his stuff and the journey, he slept like a pig, a cute pig. but the next night is different as the beast in me was released and well let say, i was never happier in this 2 long LDR years. Third night was an encore.

6. I don't mind go all out (among friends not family), but seems like he still want to be discreet. Can't force him on that part. So, need to well behave at home alsolar like that.

7. Kissing and caressing can be done when the housemate is not around. A bit is better than none.

8. Seriously was thinking of moving out, but all depends to how long he will stay here. So far, he will confirmed to stay for 2 months. Bad timing, as that time would be CNY, and he might go back and will decide to stay back at home, unless if I can persuade him to stay longer.

9. However, I sense something is a bit wrong. i hope my instinct is wrong. Seems like, if this plan does not work, there will be a great changes within us. My instinct is telling me that if he go back this time, our relationship will be in jeopardy.

10. I love him very much, and I don't want this to end. i don't know what to do if this is to end.

Tomorrow, tomorrow

Tomorrow will be the day.

His flight will be 2 pm de. his flight estimated to reach around 3:30. so I will go to airport by bus around 2 pm. so will reach there 3 pm.  Wait extra 30 minute will be better than him waiting for me. Then from airport will go back let say at 4pm. arrive KL sentral 5 pm. Bad timing cause will be peak hour. So, for 2 person with big luggage, I guess will take a walk around first or, get a taxi. Let see how he will decide. 7-8pm onward would be a good timing to go back.

So, tonight, I want to sleep, but I couldn't sleep. For all this lonely months, his bolster had been my sleeping partner and consider as 1 of my treasures. Now, the owner of the bolster will be around, and I already have new things to hug every night ler. Bolster, dun get jealous yea ^^, you had done your job~

Me: Ei, tomolo, dun forget your matric card oso. You can get discount at certain places like the cinema.

Him: Oh, ok, 

Ah ya, don't forget my kolok mee.

Sure, eat fat die you. hahahaha

Lab coat, you will bring your own or share the lab's one?

Eeee, dun wan wear labs punya. i will bring my owns. 

Pencil case, ekk, no need, can buy from here. 

Arrr, if still got space will bring. If not buy there lar. 

Anyway, sleep early, wake early. Time go faster. 

New chapter opening tomolo.

Can't wait~

Coming out

Beside people who read this blog, I had finally manage to come out to certain people in my life. I mean people who knows me, for long time.

The first person I manage to come out with is a friend whom I shud call S. In fact, I shouldn't say I come out to him. I found out about his blog when he commented on another bloggers post. Then I go check his blog and saw his picture, after that checking all the blogs he'd been following then I said to myself "throw yourself into Yellow River also won't make urself clear"

But great thing is, now I have my own plu friends. No longer only PP and my own world. I mean, at least I have someone to talk to, about my secret, feelings etc etc etc. So instead of coming out to him, we come out to each other, so cannot say is coming out yet lar.

Then, the next person whom I came out with is another friend whom I shud just call Pete. Last week, we went for pasta-ing. and I mentioned the reason for the pasta-ing is to survey the taste for PP. Then all out of sudden he ask, "are you les? (instead of gay)" I didn't deny straight, I ask him back what he think? He say ya, all my action on how caring I am toward a guy really make me look gay. So I admit.

At first the question is a joke, then, suddenly I being serious of the matter, surprises him. Then he ask me of all the normal question a straight guy asked. Oh yeah, this guy is cute and straight.  The first question he asked is
"So who is the person who poked and being poked" (what he meant is bottom and top)
"How does it feel compare to poking a girl?" (ya, I lost my virginity to a female friend when I was 16)
"So, you two ever planned to get married?"
"Wasn't it wrong for the Christian?"
Pete is still a virgin according to him. Well normal occurrence for 18 years old Sarawakian.
From his reaction, my sexuality won't bother much of our friendship.

But, it will take another many many years for me to come out to my family. Not yet to my homophobic brother, not to my high-blood pressure dad, and definitely not to my super religious mum (it might turn into another "Prayer for Bobby"). When the right time comes, I will just do it according to the situation. They won't kick me out of the house, but the shocking news will kill them... and me.... literally.

So that is my coming out of closet story. So what about yours? So, in the mean times, among the people I knew, 2 person had known about my not-so-little secret.  

My dear

I like:
Your silliness,
your warmth,
your cuteness,
your lips,
your smell,
your touch,
your smile,
cuddling with you all night,
hugging you in your sleep,
planting a kiss on your forehead when you sleep
seeing you sleeping before me,
when I am the first person you see when you woke up,

~lets not talk about sex, that will take the whole blog post ~

I don't mind:
going thru all the trouble, planning for you
when you don't pick up my call,
when you hugged other girls for cam whoring,
Your stubbornness,
if you never grow up being matured
when you did exactly opposite of my wish
Being scolded by you, because that is to remind me

I hate it:
when you don't listen
when you misunderstood my action,
when you reject my help's offer,
when you are away so far from me,
when you cried and never tell me,
when you're in trouble and never tell me,
when I know about your problems, only from our friends,
when you make your decision so last minute,
when you never plan anything for yourself

I prayed:
You never find out how I manipulate your decision making,
you will never ever leave me
you will never changed to worse,
we can celebrate 25th anniversary together, in the future, and more
If we are to separate, I will be the one leaving instead of you leaving me.
If I am to leave earlier, you will be happy always, keeping me alive in your hearts
If you are to leave earlier than me, God will allow me to change my life for yours.

For now:
Lets cherish our life together,
our partnership to be stronger,
that you will rely more to me,
let me spoil you,

I love you, and will never fail to tell that to you every day.

3 more nights, This Thursday, it will be a new chapter of our life.
Even if it is only for a month or so,
I will try make the time worthy for you,
and try to make you stay longer,
even if you got another offer.
I will try to make you smile daily,
sharing the work load together.
Because,
I really love you.